Merry
effedmas.

If you’re looking for a TRULY UNIQUE holiday greeting card, you’ve come to right place.

(If you’re looking for anything else, you might be unpleasantly surprised.)



Merry Cringemas

BRAND NEW FOR XMAS 2022!
Whether you're nervous about post-COVID congregation, have misgivings about your gift giving, or just plain hate your family, the holidays can be an awkward time of year. Give this cringeworthy card and embrace the awkwardness together!
inside: It's the holidays... enjoy every awkwardly awesome moment.

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Jingle Smells Christmas Card

Guaranteed to get them singing.
inside: blank

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Vaccine Christmas Card

Love them or hate them, the one undisputable side effect of COVID vaccines is that we're all sick of arguing about them. Whichever side you choose, this card is guaranteed to get under the skin of anyone who disagrees with your particular point of view.
inside: HOLIDAY CHEER: BE A SPREADER!

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Corona Christmas Card

Is 'glowing red nose' a symptom? Does Corona virus spread as easily as holiday cheer? Will Santa leave a vaccine under your tree this year? This card won't give you answers to those questions – but it will give you the perfect Christmas greeting for anyone who's suffering from COVID fatigue!
inside: HOLIDAY CHEER: BE A SPREADER!

Goes great with our regift stickers!

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“Regiftmas” Christmas Card

This card is clearly about the over-commercialization of Christmas. Or maybe it's about cynicism towards religion? The truly optimistic might see it as a parable of selflessness. But no matter your beliefs, this card has the potential to offend literally everyone on your list.
inside: □Merry Christmas □Happy Holidays

Goes great with our regift stickers!

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“Elven Allegations” Christmas Card

MAKE IT A #METOO CHRISTMAS! 
Inspired by the #meToo movement, the elves are finally speaking up. Just say no to mistletoe. A red nose is not consent. And for the last time Santa, no one wants to see your north pole.
inside: “Wishing you a consensual Christmas and an allegation-free New Year!”

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“Build That Wall...” A Trumped Up Christmas Card

MAKE XMAS GREAT AGAIN!  
Some say that reindeer helped make the North Pole what it is today. Others believe that reindeer are job-stealing terrorists. Whichever side of the wall you find yourself on, this card is the perfect Christmas Greeting for divisive times.
inside: “Merry Christmas and may cooler heads prevail in the New Year!”

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“Mistletoke” Christmas Card

“Dude... where's my sleigh?” Rudolph is flying high in this new Christmas Card - the perfect card for the stoner in your life.
inside: “Wishing you a nice and relaxing holiday season.”

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“Noël Navigator” Christmas Card

If you’ve been unfairly passed over for anything this year, this card is for you.
inside: "Holiday Traditions: whether you embrace them or merely endure them... just try to enjoy them."

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“Re-Gift” Stickers

These handy stickers make re-gifting easier than ever: stick them on the crappy gifts you give or receive to indicate that this crappy gift is ideal for re-gifting! Remember to add one each time the re-gift changes hands, so you can keep track of how many times it has been re-gifted.

Goes great with our Regiftmas card!

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“DO NOT Re-Gift” Stickers

OR... are you tired of people lazily re-gifting your well thought out gifts -- or your lazy re-gifts, for that matter? These handy stickers make it easy to indicate "hey, this gift is for YOU, sucker -- don't try passing it off to some other sucker when you're feeling too cheap to shell out for a gift card!" on the gifts you give this season.

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“Fair Trade” Stickers

Put this sticker on any gift to officially certify it as 'fair trade' -- as in 'you give me a crappy gift, I give you a crappy gift... and we'll call that a Fair Trade!"

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“Merry Me” Christmas Card

Give this card to your sweet-heart this year, and I can guarantee they will look at you like they’ve never looked at you before.
inside: “Hope your holidays are full of wonderful surprises!”

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“Santa's Surrogate Surprise” Christmas Card

This year, Mrs. Claus has been “naughty” by treating Rudolph too “nice”... This one is wrong on so many levels.
inside: “Hope your holidays are full of wonderful surprises!”

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“Titanic Proportions” Christmas Card

When Santa decides only a hand-made gift will do for his favourite reindeer, things get a little too real.
inside: “Nothing says ‘Happy Holidays’ like a home-made gift.”

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“Jolly Old Saint Vick” Christmas Card

Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you get in the ring and fight?
inside: “Hope you manage to stay out of trouble this holiday season!”

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“You win some, you venison” Christmas Card

Even Santa has his limits...
inside: blank

 

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“Santa Gets Rogered” Christmas Card

Santa tried to get a simple reindeer repair, and ends up fed up with the up-sell...
inside: “Whether you freely embrace new traditions or cherish fond memories of the old... have a safe & happy holiday season!”

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“Back Scratch Fever” Christmas Card

Sometimes only genuine reindeer antler will do the trick...

Download this one for free and see for yourself what Santa has in store on the inside of this card.

Free PDF

Secret Santa Gift Tags

We’ve all been there before... you’ve got a “Kris Kringle” gift exchange at the office, but your choice of card gives you away - now they know who bought them the crappy gift!

But NEVER AGAIN with our handy Secret Santa gift tags, guaranteed to tease and please.

(If it’s one of those games where you trade/steal gifts, we recommend the poetic quip: “To: Maybe YOU!” on the inside)

Free PDF